


Someone New

by CosmicPeppermintLatte



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Jean is just a big mess, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Social Anxiety, but eren makes him realize he's not broken
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-03-19 13:49:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3612315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CosmicPeppermintLatte/pseuds/CosmicPeppermintLatte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean deals with his fair share of anxiety, Eren deals with trust issues and a short temper.  Eventually, they both come to face their demons and help each other deal with their problems with just a few bumps along the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Strangers

**Author's Note:**

> Just an idea that came to me while listening to Someone New by Hozier. We'll see where this goes.

Falling in love came especially easy to Jean. He believed that there was something in every person that could be deemed lovable. Most people would call his love ridiculous, not love at all. A crush, infatuation, simple desire. To Jean it was love. He fell in love with strangers, the stranger the better. He fell in love with the raven haired girl who always wears a red scarf that catches the same train in the morning. He fell in love with the tall freckled barista with a gorgeous smile that always makes his lattes. Today, he seems to be falling in love with some brown hair and a pair of skinny jeans that happens to be walking in front of him.

He looked familiar in some sense; even though he was sure he’d never met anyone like the boy who was walking a little too quickly for the people around him. The boy’s black boots hit the pavement in clicks and his olive green scarf flowed in the icy breeze just like the train girl’s did.

Where was he going? Did he have a class to get to? A meeting? Jean continued to follow, forgetting his plans to go grocery shopping for the moment in order to be a complete creep.

“Wow what I’m I doing?” Jean mumbled to himself. He’d never acted on any of these love interests before, simply let them glide through him, never going out of his way to pursue any of them. He’d never really been one to take chances. Playing it safe and sticking to what he was used to had a lot nicer ring to it than flying off into the night with a stranger with no name and… The most stunning green eyes he had ever seen?

The boy stopped at the street corner and turned left while he waited for the light to change. Jean looked him up and down from the side and fell a little deeper. He had sun kissed skin that seemed out of place in the bitter cold of northern Trost. His eyes were piercing green and he wore a scowl same as Jean did that looked a little too natural on him. He looked lean underneath the open black coat he wore and Jean could see a Radiohead tshirt behind it.

He got a little closer and the boy turned his scowl on him. “The fuck are you looking at?”

Jean stopped a few feet away from him and responded before he could catch himself. “You, obviously.” It was pretty obvious.

The boy seemed a little taken aback by Jean’s bluntness, shock passing over his features momentarily before returning to his glare and balling his fists.

“Whatever your problem is dude, lay the fuck off I’m in no mood for it.” He nearly growled.

They were starting to catch the attention of the crowd now, Jean raised his hands in mock surrender. “No problems here man. Just admiring that you’re attractive is all.”

The light changed but both of them stood their ground, the boy’s face dropping into a dumbfounded look. Jean noticed his eyes seemed to get bigger and brighter, fucking cuter.

“What?”

Jean smiled then. “Just sayin’ dude. Has like nobody ever told you that before?” Jean felt himself digging himself deeper into a hole. First of all, he never talked to strangers. Hell, he avoided talking to people he actually liked. This was new and he was seriously starting to scare himself.

“Wha- no? I mean-… No?” He continued staring at Jean in disbelief and god this boy would be the death of him.  
Now or never Kirschtein. Jean braced his arm around the boy’s shoulders and ushered him into walking as the light started flashing. The boy didn’t resist, it almost seemed as if he was leaning into it, but he dropped his arm after a few steps.

“I’m Jean.”

“Like French?” he asked once they reached the other side.

“Qui” Jean stated, putting on the most obnoxious smirk he could.

“Wow you’re such a tool.” He sounded serious but there was laughter in his eyes. He started walking up the road making no gesture for Jean to follow, but not mentioning it when he did.

“I’m Eren.” He offered after a few moments of silence. Eren, even his name was nice, what the hell.  
Jean shook his head and smiled. “So where you heading to, Eren?” God this was crazy, how is he even still talking to this guy?

“Gonna grab some lunch…” He stopped then and turned to Jean. “This is kinda weird n’shit being that you’re a complete stranger that just called me cute or whatever” His eyes dropped to the ground. “But, wanna come get lunch with me?”

The excited nausea was starting to kick in now. Not only had he managed to talk to someone ridiculously attractive, but he was getting lunch with him now too? This was too much.

The silenced seemed to drag on a little too long and Eren started to turn away “I mean or not, I’m jus-“

“NO! No, yes! I mean, yes I want to go!” He fidgeted awkwardly stuffing his hands into his pockets, suddenly everything was hot. Smooth.

Eren finally smiled, well almost, more like grinned. A half cocky half friendly grin that took a little bit of the edge off his embarrassment.

“Okay, Jean. You like fried fish?” Jean gave a hum of approval. As they walked his nerves started to calm. He wasn’t really used to eating fried fish or having lunch with his first love of the day, but maybe it was with a shot worth taking.


	2. Acquaintances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it starts getting pretty dark here on. Jean has some pretty big issues here and we'll get to sorting those out eventually.

The nervousness returned full force the moment they stepped into the restaurant.

The place was normal, it looked clean.  It smelled like fried food and vinegar.  It was just another food joint.

And that was enough to make Jean’s stomach do uncomfortable flips.

“You okay?”  He heard Eren ask, nudging his arm.

“O- oh yeah!  Just never been here before.”  He started to fidget.  His left hand grabbed his right out of reflex as he glanced up at the menu.

This was stupid.  Why was he getting like this?  Sure Eren was a stranger, and the place was new but…  Was that so bad?  People did this all the time.

“Dover sole?” 

He could feel Eren’s eyes on him as he spoke.  “Expensive taste huh?  I’m usually just a plain old white cod kind of guy, heh.”

Oh god he was starting to panic.  Now Eren was going to think he was some kind of snob.  Why did he even say anything?  He bit his lip and could feel his palms start to sweat.  He should just apologize and leave.  There was no way Eren wanted to waste any more time on him.

He glanced back at Eren and he was… Smiling?  The second he caught sight of Jean’s face though, his expression dropped.

“Woah, hey.”  Eren put a hand on Jean’s shoulder but he flinched back.

“S- sorry! I-“

“Woah no.  Hold on are you okay?” 

Before Jean could respond Eren had a hand on his arm pulling him out of line into a quieter corner.  The nails of his left hand started digging into the flesh of his right.  This was awful.  This was why he never acted on his feelings.  This was why he didn’t like talking to people.  This was why-

“Jean, look at me.”  His voice was soothing.  He looked up into Eren’s eyes.  He was still a stranger, but there was something calming about the way he looked.  His bright green eyes were focused on Jean’s face.  His eyebrows were furrowed but he still had a warm hand on Jean’s upper arm.

“Sorry.  I’m, it’s just…  I’m not so good with people.”  Jean squeezed his eyes shut and casted his face downward.  Then he felt Eren gently pull his hands apart from each other.  He opened his eyes, his right hand was bleeding.  He expected Eren to say something, to yell at him or call the cops.  What kind of fucking weirdo did that in public, except crazies or drug addicts?  But Eren’s hands came to cover his.  He could feel Eren sigh through his nose as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and press it tightly to the back of Jean’s hand.

Eren hesitated before speaking.  “I’m not scaring you, am I?”

_What? Aren’t I the one who should be scaring you?_

It was just too much too fast.  Jean wasn’t used to this.  Hell he hadn’t even been out of the house with friends for over a month.  Throw a beautiful stranger and an unfamiliar diner into the equation…

“I’m s- sorry…  I’m sorry I should just go.  I’m sorry.”

He had to get out of there.  He ducked away from Eren and shot towards the door.  He vaguely registered Eren’s voice calling after him as his feet hit the hard pavement in long strides.  His breathing was heavy and his body was shaking.  _Panic._

Where was he?  A side street.  He’d never walked here but he knew where he was.  If he could just get to the main road then it’d be okay, he’d be okay…

The freezing wind attacking his face didn’t help.  The cold stung and he couldn’t tell if the tears that were forming were from the wind or something else.  Everyone was staring at him he knew it.  He was acting insane, everyone had to be watching him stumble.  Every person could see his embarrassment and they were probably laughing at him.

He nearly screamed when he felt arms wrapping around him stopping him in his tracks.

“Wait!  Jean its Eren, wait!”

Eren’s grip was tight, but not forceful.  His body stilled but a choked sob escaped his throat.  He turned slowly when Eren’s hands guided his body to face him.

“It’s okay man.  I’m not gonna hurt you or anything, I promise.”  Eren’s eyes were wide and worried.  His hands were gentle on Jean’s arms, holding him steady while his body continued to shake.  “It’s okay.  Nobody else is even here.  You’re alright.”

Jean shook his head violently.  He wasn’t alright.  Nothing was alright!  But Eren didn’t move.  He kept his hands braced on Jean’s upper arms, not pulling him in, or pushing him anywhere, just keeping him steady and in place.

“Just breathe okay?”

And he did.  He kept his eyes jammed shut and his arms wrapped around himself.  Minutes passed before Jean’s shaky inhales started to even out and slow.  His shaking turned into trembling and he finally opened his eyes to stare at Eren’s black boots.

He felt Eren’s grip loosen only for his hands to start running softly up and down Jean’s arms.

“A little better?”

Jean couldn’t look at him.  Oh god how could he face Eren now?  This was so fucking embarrassing how could he even explain that?  Whoops, uh sorry I know I agreed to come to lunch with you and all, but I didn’t think I’d start to freak out over absolutely nothing sorry!

“You gotta stop doing that man.”

Jean didn’t realize what he meant until Eren was pulling his hands away from each other again, keeping him from mauling his right hand any further.

“Oh god I’m sor-“

“And stop apologizing geez!”

Again, before he could say anything Eren was nudging him in the direction of the main road.  They walked side by side for a short while before they reached the main road and Eren pointed to an empty bus stop.  They got to it and they both sat, Jean not looking forward to whatever conversation was coming.

“Give me your hand.”  Eren’s gaze was tight as he gestured for Jean’s hand.

Automatically Jean pulled back covering it and leaning away.  “It’s okay.  S’fine.  I’m a fucking weirdo I know.  It’s okay if you just leave now and forget we met.  I’m sorry for all this…”

A few moments passed neither of them moved.  Then Eren let out a heavy sigh.  Jean expected him to leave then but he merely bent forward resting his elbows on his knees and looked out into the not so busy street.

“You’re not weird y’know.”  Jean scoffed.  “Well, that wasn’t normal I guess.  But it’s not like…  A problem?”  Now Eren was starting to fidget.  “I mean I kinda get it.  Well, no I don’t really.  But you said you’re not good with people right?  I’m not either.  A good third of the people I’ve met in the past year I’ve ended up punching in the face so…  Okay that’s nothing like this but what I’m trying to say is, it’s okay.”

Jean swallowed thickly.  That wasn’t the response he was used to.  He was used to being called crazy, irrational, and his favorite, over emotional.  He was also used to pity and over bearing hugs from friends that spewed rainbows and love telling him everything in the world would be just fine with a little positivity.  He’d never met someone who let him off the hook with a simple ‘it’s okay’.

He could feel Eren’s eyes on him.  What was he supposed to do now?  What could he even say?  Another apology started to form in his throat until Eren lightly punched him in the arm.

“So um.  D’you wanna leave?  I’d understand if you did but I mean, the lunch offer still stands.  We don’t have to go back there.  There has to be like, fifty other places to eat around here.”  He had on a warm smile now.  The comfort was back.  The chill of fear was starting to leave in favor of Eren’s strange warmth.

A faint smile crossed Jean’s lips.  “Maybe something warm?  I like coffee, do you?”

Eren sneered.  “Hate coffee, love hot chocolate.  This can still work.”

Jean laughed lightly as he pushed himself to his feet.  He shoved both his hands into his coat pockets willing himself to stay calm.  Eren said it was okay.  There was no reason for him to lose it again.  Absolutely none.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like these chapters are too short! But, if I put everything from the same day into one I feel like they'd be too long? And since I opened with like 1k i think I'll keep them short and stretch it out a little longer. I don't intend to make this too long to begin with and hopefully this'll be like a six to ten chapter fic. But we'll see. I'm writing with no outline, just whatever comes to mind and it's a tad challenging but pretty fun if I'm honest.
> 
> Comments always welcome! Suggestions would be totally rad too.


	3. Friends

Jean didn’t even make it three steps into the coffee shop before Eren was manhandling him into the single restroom.  He must’ve come here often because his fingers tapped in the four digit code without even looking at the panel.

“Now go wash that hand off.  With soap!”

The door clicked shut behind him and Jean finally had a minute alone to breathe.  What a fucking adventure this day was turning out to be.  More had happened in the past hour and a half than this entire month.  Strange cute boys offering lunch, chasing him down sidewalks and coddling him to wash his cuts out like his mother.  Yeah, adventure.

He leaned heavily on the edge of the sink turning on the tap and splashing cold water on his face.  The reflection he saw in the mirror was less than satisfying.  How Eren was still willing to be within speaking distance of his scowling face and fifty shades of dark circles under his eyes, he would never have any clue.

But Jean was reasonably calmer now.  Despite what he thought of his appearance, everything that had happened between the restaurant and the little public restroom seemed a lot less important than it should.  Normally an episode like that would be agonizing for the next five years, and if he was honest, it probably would come back to haunt him randomly for about that time maybe longer.  But right now, in this second, everything was okay and the boy outside was almost a friend.  _If he didn’t scare him off already._

He ran his hand under the running water washing whatever dried blood there was off of it.  The soap stung a little, not as much as it could.  He’d have to remember to avoid hand sanitizer for the next few days.  A deep cut was one thing, but breaking the first few layers of skin in multiple places plus the dry cold air was a whole different game.  

He gave the mirror one last disappointed glance before wiping his hands on his pants and pushing the door open.  Sure enough, Eren was just outside tapping away as his phone.  Jean brushed past him and headed toward the counter.

“What do you want?” he heard Eren ask from behind him.

_Oh no._

“Uh don’t worry I’ll get my own.”  His eyes stayed fixed on the menu overhead, eyes skimming but not really reading anything.

“C’mon let me get this.  I’m the one who invited you.”

Why?  Why the hell couldn’t he make it five minutes without freaking out over something?

“P- please, I don’t like when people pay for my things…”   _Don’t push this please please…_

“It’s okay really, I get a discount here.  How about I promise you can pay me pack next time?”

He let out a shaky breath.  _It’s okay, this is okay, just let him._ “Y- yeah, okay…”

Eren grinned at him.  “Good.  Now what do you want?”

“Just coffee.”  If he couldn’t get out of this then there was no way he was letting Eren spend any more money than absolutely necessary. 

“Got it.  Go grab that couch over there before someone takes it.”

He walked in the direction Eren nudged him and slumped down on the big couch seat grabbing for his phone.  He unlocked it and blankly flipped through his apps pretending to be busy until Eren plopped down next to him.  With more than just coffee…

Eren noticed him staring at the brown bags and raised his hands in defense.  “Okay well I promised lunch.”

“You didn’t promise lunch.”

“Well no, but that was the intention.  I’ll eat it if you don’t want it but you seem like baked goods type.”  He dumped the contents of both bags onto a napkin.  “Spinach square or butter croissant?”

“Cream, for my coffee.”  He stood up abruptly and walked to the cream station leaving Eren blinking after him. 

_Why am I such a walking disaster?  God he probably hates me now.  There is literally not a single normal thing I have done so far…_

He took as long as he could pouring creamer and cinnamon into his cup and mixing them together.  All too soon he found himself back beside Eren who was eyeing him over his open cup of hot chocolate.

Jean exhaled loudly, pressing his lips to the edge of his cup.  “Spinach square, happy?”

“Yes, I was about to force feed you.”

“Please don’t.”

“Then eat.  This doesn’t even count as lunch anyway.”

They sat there and ate, and drank, and talked.  Conversation came surprisingly easy after that.  All of Jean’s answers were still quaint and quiet, but he and Eren actually had a lot in common and two cups of coffee later he was basically pressed shoulder to shoulder with the other boy.

“Okay okay okay so wait.  We’ve been to three of the same concerts, go to the same college and have like, a hundred and four mutual friends yet we’ve never met?”      

“Well it’s not impossible.  It is kinda weird though.”

“Psh fucking stupid.  So this makes us friends like by default yeah?”  He was smiling again, that dumb gorgeous smile.  Jean almost choked on the cinnamon at the bottom of his cup.

“Yeah, s- sure.”

“I’m glad because this makes asking for your number a lot less weird.”

He _did_ choke.

“If it’s cool I mean, you’ve gotta pay me back for the coffee right?  So I’m pretty much obligated to see you again.”

“Shit, are you serious?”  He hadn’t meant to say that out loud and he immediately hid his face in his hands.  How were things still going right?  Not conventionally right, but right no less.  Eren still didn’t miss a beat.

“Shit yeah, I’m serious.  Give me yours I’ll give you mine, fair deal.”

Reluctantly, but silently thanking whatever gods there were that he hadn’t fucked this up yet, he gave Eren his number who texted him a second after.

[Unknown Number]  
**You’re rly cute btw**

Jean let out a noise somewhere between a screech and a squawk.  Eren burst out laughing.  “What the fuck?  What was that?” But he was too busy melting as far into the couch as he could to notice. 

“Okay, okay I’m sorry I’m not laughing I swear.” He stood up and offered Jean his hand who vigorously shook his head.  “Aw c’mon I have to do laundry today and we’ve been sitting here for like three hours.”

Jean let himself be pulled up and Eren threw away their rubbish.  It wasn’t until they were back outside in the frigid air and Eren was rewrapping his scarf around his neck that He remembered he was actually supposed to be buying groceries. 

“So uh, I actually have to go to the store so um.”  Jean jerked his thumb in the direction to their right.

“Alright well I’m the other way.  It was uh, kinda nice running into you.  I’m really glad we met.”

_Say something damnit._

“Y- yeah okay.”

_Fuck not that._

Eren grinned and started down the street and all Jean could do was stare as his retreating figure.

“I’ll see you later okay!”  Eren called over his shoulder.

Jean turned and made it about a block and a half before his pocket started buzzing.  He fished out his phone and already felt his fingers going numb from the cold.

[Unknown Number]  
**So if I were to ask u on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question :)**

He stopped walking and squinted down at the text for a good minute before jamming his phone back into his pocket and stomping up the road.  Another block and he yanked his phone back from his pocket and stabbing at his phone to change Eren’s contact information.

[To:  World’s worst pick up line guy]  
**That was terrible.  You’re terrible.  And you totally seem like the kind of asshole who would use “you” and “u” in the same sentence.**  

 **[** World’s worst pick up line guy **]  
That may be so.  But it doesn’t answer my question :)**

Jean huffed but started smiling as he walked.

[To: World’s worst pick up line guy]  
**I won’t give you the satisfaction.**

 **[** World’s worst pick up line guy **]**  
**I’ll win u over yet.  You’ll see!**

He finally made it into the warmth of the grocery store as he tapped at his phone.

[To: Eren]  
**Maybe.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I kind of have an extremely vague idea of where this is going but at the same time... I feel kind of awkward writing Jean as such a mess and I don't know if it suits him the way I thought it would? But any suggestions or thoughts would be cool. I’ve got a tumblr feel free to hit up my ask box.


	4. Lovers

It was safe to say that Jean wasn’t a big fan of change.  Not that he didn’t welcome the fact the world itself was changing.  The human was race starting to become more accepting of themselves and more aware of their environment?  Changes like that were good.  It was everything else, little things.  Things that would have only the slightest impact on his life, but in some ways the biggest were the kinds he didn’t like.  Jean noticed everything.  He noticed when his friend Sasha trimmed her bangs a quarter of an inch.  He noticed when the water bottles in the school café got smaller by 4 ounces but remained the same price.  He noticed when social networking sites changed their color theme from a shade of blue to a slightly different shade of blue.  He noticed all these little things changing around him so of course he’s going to notice the little things changing in himself ever since he’d met Eren.  Like right now.

A month ago Jean wouldn’t have even considered going anywhere near a bar.  He simply didn’t like them.  They were dark and usually filled with sticky floors and the types of people he would have preferred to avoid.  Even in company he’d feel out of place being forced to socialize with whoever was there rather he liked them or not.  It just wasn’t fun.  Yet here he was, stirring the ice at the bottom of his glass after several failed attempts at reaching the perfectly good canned cherry that sat beneath his cup sized frozen wasteland.

“This seat taken?” 

Jean nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice right next to his ear.  He turned his head to a grinning Eren who plopped down on the stool next to him. 

“Oh man I’m sorry.”  Eren said through a fit of snickering.  “I didn’t mean to scare you but I couldn’t resist.”

Jean glared.  He tried to be mad he swears he did, but Eren’s smile was just so, so… 

“I didn’t keep you waiting long did I?”

He shook his head no and went back to stabbing at his cherry.  He could feel Eren’s presence sweeping closer.  His arm brushed Eren’s and their knees bumped.  This was the first time he’d actually seen Eren since the day they’d met nearly a month ago due to over conflicting schedules, but he basically expected the affection after all the flirty texts they had exchanged.  He really didn’t want to admit it but Eren’s methods were… charming if he had to label them as something.  Eren was pushy but polite.  He didn’t mind all that much that Jean rejected his first five proposals for ‘another date’.  He seemed to understand when Jean wouldn’t text him back for hours at a time, occasionally days, and never called him on it like so many of his other friends.

A smile pricked his lips when Eren’s hand found his knee and he ordered a beer for himself and another cherry clad drink for Jean.

Jean patted his hand away playfully.  “How did you get here anyway?  I thought you lived like three miles from here.”

The bartender slid both of their drinks over to them which Eren caught gracefully.  “I do.”  He said talking a long pull from his beer.  “Rode my motor bike.”  He grinned through a foam mustache. 

“Tch, motor bike?  And here I thought I knew everything about you.”  Jean let his eyes sweep over Eren’s figure while he rested his face against is hand.  He’d learned a lot about Eren though their texts.  Eren had gone to a trade school but had to drop out because of family reasons so he started attending Trost University like Jean.  He lived with his sister Mikasa somewhere in the lower part of Trost.  He loved music and being outside...  All that and he sure as hell knew that Eren was beautiful even if Eren seemed to not know that himself.

Eren looked back at him then and brushed his fingertips lightly over Jean’s cheek.  “There’s a lot you don’t know about me babe.”

Jean scoffed and rolled his eyes.  Behind them he could hear a group of guys giving their server a hard time.  His other hand tightened around his drink.  This was another reason he hated the bar scene, loud drunken idiots causing problems for everyone.  He eyed Eren who had swiveled himself around in his seat glaring at the group.  A muscle in his face twitched and he looked about ready to walk up to them.

Jean started tugging at his sleeve.  “Please ignore them.”  Eren stilled but the group’s conversation got louder.

“C’mon princess.”  One of their gruff voices called loud enough for the entire bar to hear.  “We won’t bite if you don’t want us to.”

Eren’s sleeve slipped from Jean’s grip and before his mind could comprehend what was happening Eren’s voice was echoing through the place as well.

“She obviously doesn’t want anything to do with you assholes so leave her alone!”

Jean bit his lip, this wasn’t happening.  This happened in movies, how the fuck are bar fights real?  Slowly he turned around.  Eren and the other guy were in each other’s faces.  The guy was at least a head taller and probably weighted a good 50 pounds more.  Panic was welling up in him now.  There was a girl behind Eren backing off as quickly as she could toward the counter.  The guy yelled at Eren that he should have minded his own damn business before his fist connected with Eren’s face.

 Jean’s heart started pounding in his ears.  He watched, frozen as security dragged the guy, his friends, and Eren outside.  He stumbled as quickly as he could out of the bar to where they were.  The night was still cold with spring air, but it had nothing to do with his already shaking shoulders.  He got as close to Eren as his body would let him, just out of arms reach.  He could barely hear his quiet voice quivering and begging Eren for them to leave, even more so when Eren shrugged him off.  The guy was coming at Eren again and as quickly as he could Jean backed himself into the cold brick wall of the building.  Eren’s hand was thrown out behind himself in what looked like a habit of protecting whatever was in back of him.  From his view point he could see blood dripping from Eren’s mouth. Jean didn’t want to see this.  He didn’t want to be here.  He shouldn’t have come out.  This wouldn’t have happened.  His vision started to blur with tears that he couldn’t blink away.  His eyes stayed on Eren, the guy was clearly too drunk to be trying to fight someone and Eren dodged his heavy blows easily, that is until Eren finally did raise his hand and pounded his fist hard into the taller man’s face.  That was when Jean heard the unmistakable crunch of a nose being broken and he was finally able to rip his eyes away and slump onto the ground with his hands over his ears.

The next few minutes passed in a blur.  He could hear the guy screaming in pain and his friends dragging him away.  Then the gravel started crunching in front of where he sat.  He opened his eyes and saw Eren’s boots and outstretched hand.  When he looked up he saw that his face was no longer dripping blood but his lip was definitely busted and his left cheek was starting to swell.  Without thinking he took Eren’s hand.  He felt cold and dazed but as soon as Eren tried to reach out to for him he felt angry.

Jean snatched his hand back and started shouting. “Why couldn’t you just listen to me!?  Why did you have to start a fight!?” He was visibly shaking now.

Eren’s face looked conflicted; he reached out but didn’t touch Jean. “Calm down please I’m sorry!  Didn’t you see the look on that girl’s face Jean?  She was fucking terrified!”

But Jean couldn’t hear him.  The second “calm down” fell from Eren’s mouth his words left him.  All at once any sense of reason left his body.  Hurt, shock, betrayal started pumping through his veins and before he could stop himself he was running.  How could Eren say that to him?  He trusted him…

-

Jean didn’t know how much time had passed before he came back to himself.  His room was dark.  His duvet was haphazardly tossed over his still trembling shoulders.  His breathing was finally normal again.  The urge to scream had finally passed, as did the sobbing… His hand stung from when he knew he was tearing into his skin but he doesn’t remember when.

Then the guilt hit him.

He’d done it again.  He’d gone and freaked the fuck out in front of Eren for another complete stupid reason.  How was Eren supposed to know he didn’t like the phrase “calm down”?  He’d never told him, never brought it up, it wasn’t his fault. 

Jean ran is hands down his damp cheeks and puffy eyes.  Even if Eren never wanted to see him again he at least deserved an apology.  Eren had been so patient with him until now, but there was no way he would forgive him this time.  How could he?  What he pulled that night was just…  Too much for any normal functioning human to handle.  Jean scoffed.  _He_ was just too much to handle, but he should know that already…

Slowly he untangled himself from his sheets and pulled his phone from the pocket of the jeans that never left his hips

Dead. Of Course.

Grudgingly he left the comfort of his bed, dragging himself into the kitchenette and plugging his phone into the outlet near the counter.  He put the kettle on the stove.  Going through to motions helped calm his nerves somewhat.  But what was he supposed to say to Eren?  Sorry for overreacting, _again…_ Is your face okay?  That guy knocked you pretty hard haha!  He slumped onto his small counter top burying his face into his arms

What the fuck was wrong with him?  Eren had just gotten into a fist fight for god sake!  He should be worried about him not blowing up at him and running from an accidental spoken phrase.  He wanted to scream but the kettle did it for him.  What a mess.  He shouldn’t have dragged Eren into his roller coaster of emotions, it wasn’t fair to him.

That settled it.  He would apologize.  Then he would ask Eren to delete his number and forget he existed.  If they’d made it that long without meeting then it wouldn’t be hard for them to avoid each other too.

After two cups of tea and talking to an imaginary Eren across his table he finally managed to turn his phone back on.

6 New Text Messages

[Eren]  
**Jean please!  I’m sorry!**   

[Eren]  
**Where did you go?**

[Eren]  
**Seriously where are you please**

[Eren]  
**Jean…**

[Eren]  
**Okay I screwed up again I know.  I honestly don’t know what I did so please tell me.  I want to know so I don’t do it again please.  Jean I am so worried right now and I’m sorry…**

[Eren]  
**Jean just one word.  You don’t even have to talk to me ever again just one word tell me you’re okay**

The tears were back, big and stinging.  Crawling onto his couch he swallowed a painful lump in his throat as he hit the call button.  After what felt like an eternity Eren finally answered.  Jean’s mouth went dry and he almost hung up before he heard Eren’s frantic pleading voice.

“Jean?  Jean!  Are you there?  Are you okay?  I’m sorry, I’m so sorry please tell me you’re home safe.  Jean?”

Jean opened his mouth and nearly choked on his words.  “Eren, I’m sorry I-“

“No!  God no, don’t- Jean please…” He sighed heavily over the line and Jean could picture him bowing his head and running his fingers through his hair.  “Just, I said something right?  I- I don’t know what it was but your face just changed so suddenly and you looked so scared and hurt and god Jean…  I don’t ever want to see that expression on your face again.  Especially if I’m the one causing it.  So please, please talk to me.  I’m sorry for whatever it was that I said but please tell me what it was so I can never say it again, okay?”

Jean brought his hand to his mouth and screwed his eyes shut.  Was this guy serious?

The words came tumbling out before he could stop them.  “Are you even real?”  He half sobbed into his phone.  He started curling in on himself again bringing his knees close to his chest.  There was not a single person he could think of that had ever _begged_ him to open up before.  Eren actually wanted to understand him and he just couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

“Jean?”  Eren’s voice was soft, timid, almost loving, and that broke him.  In that moment he made the most spontaneous, rash decision he thinks he’s ever made in his life.

“Can I see you?  Can you come over?  Right now…?”

For a moment there was silence.  Eren said nothing and Jean started to regret asking, but then he heard what sounded like keys rustling in the background.

“Y- yeah if you want me to.  You uh, you sure?  I know you told me once you don’t really like people in your space.  I could meet you if, y’know…”

Seriously, how was he real…?

“No Eren it’s fine I…  I want you to come over and if you want me to try and explain myself then, I’ll try.”

He could hear a door creaking shut and Eren letting out a shaky sounding sigh.  “You don’t need to explain yourself Jean.  Just tell me what upset you so I can understand.  I want to be close to you and I can’t do that if I keep chasing you away…”

Jean bit his lip and swallowed hard, trying to shake any lingering doubts he had.  “Yeah, okay.”

He didn’t have to wait long.  Once he gave Eren his address and they hung up, there was a knock on his door within ten minutes.

There was Eren in his doorway wearing the very same black coat, green scarf, and Radiohead tshirt that started it all.  He didn’t really think this far ahead.  Once Eren was inside and the door was closed behind him they stayed in an awkward standoff.  Eren was the first to move, coming into Jean’s personal space but not touching him.  He let Jean take the lead allowing him to get as close as he wanted before anything happened.  Slowly Jean relaxed, not realizing his shoulders were tensed.  He gravitated closer until his forehead was resting on Eren’s shoulder and his arms looped loosely around his waist.  They both seemed to let out a relived sigh at the contact.  Eren buried his nose into Jean’s neck and his hands found their way to Jean’s back rubbing in soft circles.

“Jean, listen...”  He breathed.  “I’m not going to lie to you and tell you you’re perfect, nobody is ever perfect.  And I’m not going to try and fix you because you’re not broken.  And I don’t know why you’re so convinced that everything you do is some kind of burden on everyone else because it’s really not.”  His arms tightened around Jean’s waist and he brought their bodies as close together as he could.  “But I am trying to understand, and I’m going to do everything I can to try and get you to see how wonderful you really are because I can see it clear as day.  I know I’ll probably fuck up again I seem to be pretty good at that, but I’m going to try my hardest not to.  And-” He gulped.  ”You know to be honest, you’re probably stuck with me at this point because I’ve been told I’m very persistent and I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you.”

Jean froze.  Did he hear that right?

Eren inhaled deep and pulled back slightly.  One hand moved to the curve of Jean’s waist while the other came up to cup his cheek.  Unconsciously he found himself leaning into the touch.  Staring into Eren’s bright green eyes seemed to ground him.  His words were echoing back through Jean’s mind now and he stood dumbstruck, his body not knowing what to do with itself.  So he cried.

Tears filled his eyes again as he bit down on his bottom lip none too gently.  Here Eren was letting him off the hook again with acceptance.  He wasn’t pushing Jean into fixing his habits and even going so far as to telling him that he’s not broken.  So many people in Jean’s life have said at some point that he has problems and he should address them and get help, but not a single one of those people ever went out of their way to try and just be there for him.

He crumbled into Eren’s embrace, letting those strong arms wrap around him keeping him steady.  He still shook but Eren held him close soothing him with words and nuzzling his nose into damp cheeks.  Somehow they made it to Jean’s couch.  Eren kicked off his boots and laid Jean gently across his chest, pillowing his head with the armrest.  They stayed like that for a while.  Eren ran his fingers lightly through Jean’s short hair as he calmed himself. 

Eventually he started talking.  He told Eren everything he could think of.  He told him how he had pet phrases (‘calm down’ included) that shut his mind down and made him lash out.  He told him all the things his friends had said to him in the past that Eren always seemed to contradict.  He told him how he was going to tell Eren to delete his number and forget him and that he was honestly changing everything he formerly knew about himself.

“And I’m sorry about dragging you into my life like this I-“

Eren cut him off for the first time in his speech by grabbing his hand and placing a light kiss to his knuckles.  “What have I told you about apologizing so much?  First of all you haven’t dragged me into anything never mind apologizing for it.  And if anything at all you’re going to have to forcibly drag me _out_ of your life because that’s what it’s going to take.”   

He huffed, bringing his head up to look Eren in the eye.  “So what does this mean then?” 

“Well,” he hummed, nuzzling his cheek into Jean’s hand.  “As long as you’re willing to put up with my fuck ups, I’d really like to be your boyfriend.  Officially, if you don’t mind.”

“If anyone is going to be putting up with fuck ups it’s going to be you.” He replied flatly.

“Why so serious Batman?”  Eren smiled down at him, finally a real smile.  Jean quickly found himself realizing how good it looked on him. Both of Eren’s hands found his face again.  “Jean?”  It came out as a whisper, as a question that he was more than willing to answer.  He pulled himself up and leaned down to press his lips against Eren’s. 

He’d never been kissed like that before; it felt like melting.  He became hyper aware of the heat radiating from Eren’s open palms and the same heat rising in his own body.  Eren grinned against his lips letting a content sigh escape him.  When Jean did pull away the sight his eyes met made him glad he finally took a chance on something and leapt head first out of his comfort zone.  Eren’s green eyes sparkled for him with an emotion he couldn’t even place.  For the first time in a long time he felt hopeful, scared, but hopeful.

Eren brought a hand up and pushed Jean’s bangs away from his eyes.  “So, yeah?”

He took one last look at the boy beaming up at him before settling back into his chest.  “Yeah, okay.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's all she wrote! For this anyway. I have to admit I do like this AU, but I'm a little iffy on how this fic as a whole turned out. Mostly because I didn't plan anything and it would have done a lot better as a oneshot I think, but I wasn't writing it like a oneshot so that didn't turn out. But I hope you enjoyed it. I’ve got a tumblr feel free to hit up my ask box. Comments are always appreciated~


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